Decapitated Dump

Mr. GrabAsstino must have prematurely pinched, for the head of this hearty helping of hell's candy lays lifeless to its left.  It's a sad state of affairs when a dump ends before it's complete.  But that's how the anus operates.  Who knows happened?  Mr. GrabAsstino may have been surprised by a knock on the door, or needed a break from the purposeful pushing, or was simply tricked into thinking the turd tickled its last tuft of tush-hair.  Alas, Henry the VIII would be proud.

The Phantom Pooper thanks Mr. GrabAsstino for sending in his rather large log, but wishes to one day see a completely intact bowlfiller.

Phantom Pooper

Here I sit, in smelly vapor,
Cause someone stole the toilet paper. 
How much longer shall I linger 
Till I'm forced to use my finger?

Why are poops tapered at the ends?

Why are poops tapered at the ends?
So your asshole doesn't slam shut.

My dad once told me that joke, and I laughed for a few solid minutes.  But never did I more drastic necessity for a tapered deuce than in the photo submitted by Shitty Fitti.  Shitty's crap looks like it's fist-size in the middle.  Can you imagine the reverberations of his asshole if that poop was not, in fact, tapered?  I sure can't.  And don't wish to ever picture that in my head again.

Shitty saw me out in a bar and came running up to me like a kid and his first Aced test, so very proud of his little (errr... large) creation.  Shitty, nice job... a valid first contribution to  Keep on deucing.

Phantom Pooper