High School Poopsicle

I got this whopper of an photo (with description) from esteemed reader Corny Chris:

It was third period when it all happened.  Walking into the bathroom one beautiful spring day, I realized a disturbing smell and an open third stall. With my interest piqued in what atrocity created that stench, I peeked in and saw this massacre. Wow! This thing was a true work of ass-art... Naturally, i had to take a picture and forward it to everyone and their mother.  The mothers didn't seem to like it, however.  I let everyone know which bathroom donned this porcelain prize.

Out of curiosty, and to see if the teachers ditched the deification, I walked by the bathroom at fifth period to see an unusually large number of laughing people standing outside of the bathroom. They were all there to see this toilet clogger. 

Word spreads fast and word spreads far. By sixth period, many male teachers had heard about the phantom dump. Apparently, they determined that action had to be taken. Many failed attempts were undertaken to try to flush this damned thing... but that was clearly not happening.  Frustrated, one teacher finally locked the bathroom. 

The poop was never to be seen again, but it will live forever in high-school infamy.

I ask you this, mud-makers: How does the unflushable turd get flushed?  Or does it?  Who's lucky hands had to birth that baby from the bowl?  If only Corny Chris somehow got a photo of that...

P.U.P.U., 
Phantom Pooper

Here I sit; I'm at a loss.
Tryin' to shit out taco sauce. 
At some point I'll drop a load; 
God I hope I don't explode.

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